7 years ago...

...I became a mom.

7 of the most breathtaking years of my life.

After my very first c-section, I was in horrible pain. Finn was still in the NICU and I was in my hospital room with my mom. I was complaining miserably, nonstop and my nurse was starting to get worried. She had maxed me out on pain meds and there was nothing more she could give me.

"Would you like to see your baby she asked?"

"Yes", I quickly answered.

She came back with Finn and handed me my little bundle.

All the pain I was feeling seemed to subside as I peered into the face of an angel. He was perfect. I was never so happy.

"This is good", my nurse said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Yes, it was good. So very, very good.

My first few days as a mom were filled with complete apprehension and joy.

There was the gagging episode, in which Finn was gagging on mucous from his tum-tum{c-section babies do not have the stomach gunk properly forced out of them}.

I complained to the nurse that Finn was gagging and she handed me a blue suction bulb and said to suction it out of his mouth.

Seriously???

Did she really think I was going to be able to handle this in my condition? I could barely walk.

A few hours later, I turned to look at Finn and he was choking and turning blue. I started frantically screaming to mom, who rushed him to the nurses' station. By then, mom said he was turning black. The nurse on duty quickly went to work on him, and properly suctioned his stomach.

That was so scary. Thankfully it never happened again.

And then, on day 2 or 3, he had jaundice. Mom and I were pretty neurotic about the whole thing. He had to stay in the hospital for 2 days under lights. One day the nurse told us that Finn was wet. Mom and I were both in hysterics, thinking he was hot and sweaty and had a fever from the lights. "No" the nurse said, looking at us like we were crazy{which we were}.

"His diaper is wet", she said.

Mom and I couldn't stop laughing.

We laughed so deliriously hard, in fact, that I had to tell mom "Stop laughing. We are making a spectacle. They are never going to let us take him home."

But they did let us take him home and it was one of the most joyous days of my life.

All I wanted to do was hold my perfect baby and stare at him all day long.

My days were filled with bliss. I was a mom! This was so much fun! I seriously felt like I was playing house all day long. My friends just scratched their heads at me. {Many of my friends, at the time, had 2 or more kids and were understandably stressed out}

Sure, there were days when I felt stressed too...like when Finn would just scream at me when I tried to nurse him. That kid threatened to quit every month. I felt so very, very melodramatic about the whole thing.

But otherwise, Finn was a super easy baby. He rarely fussed unless he wanted some attention. Life was sweet and simple.

And then along came Calvin...and Ollie...and Twain. Life sure is wild and crazy now.

What have I learned after being a mom for 7 years?

I think the most significant thing I have learned after 7 years is the importance of saying "I'm sorry".

I learned that one from my mom.

Whenever she would make mistakes disciplining us, she would say those 2 simple words "I'm sorry".

And so I learned to do the same. Daily I mess up. And daily I need to apologize to my kids if I have the wrong tone of voice or wrong attitude when disciplining.

And my kids are so forgiving. All of their anger and tension melts away. Love covers a multitude of sins.

Finn, you are quite the mixed package.

You are

serious

silly

reserved

wild

creative

organized

sloppy

loving

quiet

loud

You approach life at full speed and give every project your all. And just when I think you are obsessed with one thing, you turn around and are into something completely different.

You like to dabble in everything.

Drawing

Sports

Computers

Learning

Movies

Drums

Chasing

Tree climbing

You name it.

My relationship with Finn is very sweet. I smothered him as a baby and as a result, he was more interested in daddy.

But as more kids came along, I smothered less, and Finn came around more.

Now, he is the first one to hop into bed and kiss my cheek each morning and say he loves me.

Finn I love you.

Happy birthday dearest 7 year old.