January 16, 2013

what's on your list?

At last.

The boys were in bed and the house was quiet and dark.

I hopped into bed and popped the Anne of Green Gables(AGG) DVD into our laptop and started watching, happy with anticipation. John snuggled up next to me, and decided to watch too. (He had watched AGG as a teenager, when he lived with his best friend, while his parents were missionaries in Africa). It had been at least 15 years since I had last watched the Anne movies.

As soon as the music "Anne's Theme" started playing in the background, I started to cry.

Jeepers. This was gonna be a doozy. 

Half an hour later, the movie froze. And then skipped. And froze and skipped. What a tease. This was infuriating. Stinky library DVD for $2.15.

John and I frantically tried Netflix and every other online source to streamline, but there was nothing available. I would have to wait a few days to resume watching my beloved Anne. I had some serious withdrawals. 

I borrowed my sister's DVDs and resumed a few days later. 

I cried in almost every scene with Matthew Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe. 

Especially in the 2nd movie(the Sequel). The devastated look on Gilbert's face every time Anne rejected his love...oh I cried buckets.

But all the heart ache was worth it, for the final scene on the bridge. 
Gilbert: "It will be 3 years before I'll finish my medical course. And even then there will be no diamond sunbursts and marble halls"

Anne: "I don't want sunbursts and marble halls. I just want you."

And they finally kiss. Swoon. I wish I could hit rewind 500 times. I'm love struck from the sweet simplicity of their story. 

While driving home today, I was listening to a christian radio station. The DJ comes on and starts asking his single female listeners to tell him what they are looking for in a guy. He begs, "What qualities do you girls want? Us guys are sooo confused! Just tell us already!"

I was like, "Dude! Watch Anne of Green Gables, ok? Take a few tips from Gilbert Blythe". 

One of the girls who worked at the radio station chimed in with her list:

-he must have a beard and wears flannels
-he must be a musician like her papa
-he must be an old soul

Kinda cute.

And then some other girls called in with things ranging from "he must be kind" all the way to "he must drive a european car". Um whatevs girls, whatevs. Can you be any more dull and insipid? 

Way harsh Tai.

So, it got me to thinking. Dangerous, I know. What would I have put on my list? Of course, my list does not matter, since I'm already spoken for.



As a younger girl, I never had a list of qualifications for prospective suitors. Did you? 

I know a few girls that did have lists though. Wonder how it turned out.  

I mean, even Anne had a list of "ideals" and that all fell to the wayside, when she discovered her undying love for Gilbert...as he lay sick in bed from typhoid fever:

"She loved Gilbert-had always loved him! She knew that now. She knew that she could no more cast him out of her life without agony than she could have cut off her right hand and cast it from her."

So relieved Annegirl came to her senses. 

Well, I feel really jipped that I was not allowed to play the game on the radio. So just for funsies, I decided to compile a list of qualities that I most highly value in friends and humans in general. 

1. loves Jesus(*revised due to reading Tracy's comment below--I can still be friends with someone who does not know/love Jesus! But love for Jesus is definitely a quality I value for a truly deeper relationship).
2. faithful (that's like waaaaay high up there for me)
3. doesn't gossip
4. slightly quirky(a bonus, not a requirement)
5. old soul
6. likes nerds/geeks and doesn't scorn the socially awkward types.
7. must love unicorns. and my 3 kitties. haaaaa. mostly kidding;)

And it's great if they are funny and can laugh at themselves, but it's not a requirement. I will still be friends with someone who is completely grave and solemn-- a Puddleglum, if you will, from The Silver Chair(Chronicles of Narnia).

So. What kind of qualities do you value in friends or prospective suitors?

26 comments:

  1. As a single young chick, this is my list for my future-man:
    1. Caring
    2. Spontaneous
    3. Honest
    4. Romantic
    5. Little bit nerdy
    6. Loves kids & cats
    7. Fun
    8. Not shallow
    9. Being a musician doesn't hurt either ;)

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  2. Look at you and your "Gilbert Blythe"! That photo of you two is just darling!
    That list is perfect. And along with your great list (the 1st to are most important to me)- My closest friends (and husband) are "joyful and laugh easily"!

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  3. As a young gal who just acquired her first real adult boyfriend, here are some qualities that I adore in him:

    -he's a complete dork. And unashamed.
    -he asked if it was okay to put his arm around me and hold my hand. *swoon*
    -takes spiritual initiative in leading--asked if we could pray together and read scripture. *swoon no. 2*
    -not afraid of commitment. Yes please!

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    Replies
    1. um. love the unashamed dork. hoping for the best for you!

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  4. Since I'm spoken for, I'll go for the friends list...which would also likely apply to someone if I was single & waiting on God to bring me a husband:
    1. I agree with you - Jesus lover
    2. I agree with Sophie - a little bit nerdy (or at least totally accepting of my nerdiness)
    3. Cares for others
    4. Honest
    5. Drives a hybrid
    6. Just kidding about the hybrid - I don't even drive a hybrid. And I have a lead foot.
    7. Family oriented
    8. Dreamer

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  5. ya'll are cute with your "little bit nerdy".

    but i am LOVIN what you all have to say! so fascinating to me, to get lil glimpses into your souls.

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  6. I don't have a list, but I'm told I should :) So I'll try to come up with a top-ten...

    1. Loves Jesus
    2. Knows where he's going in life/willing to follow God's leading
    3. Wants kids
    4. Family/Community-oriented
    5. Taller than me (bonus points if 6' or over!)
    6. Generous
    7. Musical(ish)
    8. Athletic/adventurous
    9. Good with words
    10. Fun/funny

    This is just off the top of my head- I'm sure I've forgotten things. I love reading everyone else's lists :)

    P.S. I am now DYING to watch the Anne series again!!

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  7. Love this post!
    I have written several lists about qualities I want in my future husband but notice they have changed as I get older, I haven't written one in a while so I guess now is the perfect time!
    1.Loves Jesus more then he loves me.
    2.A confident leader, as in he will lovingly put me in my place if need be (which I'm not unaware of the way I am, I will need to be put in my place every now and then;) )
    3.Funny and can handle being made fun of.
    4.Someone I can be downright immature and silly with.
    6. A family guy, my family is big and crazy, he better be ready for it.
    7.Someone who has a genuine and kind heart.
    8.Someone with a Servant's heart.

    That's all I can come up with right now, I'm sure I have a ton more but those are kinda important.
    Oh and someone who can handle a sarcastic fiery red head who wants lots of babies!! hahaha.

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  8. i have to say, i did have a list, and boy am i glad i lost that thing before i met my hubby! now, if i were to have a list for friends (since i am obvi already married) it would include

    1. funny
    2. honest
    3. willing to try new things
    4. generous
    5. kind to others (esp those not like them)
    6. somewhat smart (brainiac not required, but must be able to hold a convo)
    7. confident

    i must say that while i think Jesus-loving is important for a potential spouse, i do not think it is a requirement for friendship. after all, how are we to tell others about Jesus if we aren't willing to befriend anyone who doesn't know him?

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    Replies
    1. that is a great point. i think i shall stand corrected. i can definitely be-friend someone who does not love Jesus!

      my list is just qualities I value. it does not mean if someone does not have that quality that i won't be friends with them.

      thanks for bringing it up!

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  9. 1. jesus loving man.
    2. kind & gentle -- especially to kids.
    3. a guy who's not afraid to geek out over weird little things with me.
    4. a secure, confident man who doesn't feel the need to bash other dudes or get jealous.
    5. has to love having fun.
    6. NOT a picky eater.

    :) i'm so glad to have found that man. he's just good to the core.

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  10. Yes to all of the above for me. I would add that I want someone who is a good steward, especially with money. I see lots of guys buying "toys" instead of preparing for a family, retirement, etc. and that really bugs me :) (I'm a bit of a nerd with my excel spreadsheets & budgets & amortization charts, it's quite sad really.)

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  11. I commented on my annoying phone and it didn't work!

    I really need to download those audiobooks. LOL!

    I never really made a list of qualities I was looking for, but I wasn't the type who dated too often. I just trusted that God would provide me with the right person for me. Thankfully, He did!

    Though I don't really have a list of qualities I look for in friends (or spouses, back in the day), I tend to gravitate to people with similar qualities like:

    Loyalty, a willingness to be vulnerable (I know this comes with time, but "realness" is a must!), God focused, a natural leader, family oriented, humble

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  12. P.S. When I first looked at the picture of you and John, it looked like he had a gun strapped around him. Lol. I totally knew it was a guitar, but I had to do a double-take.

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  13. I had a crush on my husband from age 10 (and it took him 7 years to notice me;) but in that time everytime time I met a guy I compared him to my all time crush, in the end nothing but the origional would do;)
    Biggest thing I love in my friends- that they love unconditionally and teach me to do the same- all the rest seems to fall into place with that:)

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  14. I sorta had a list...and on it was "Must love animals." But then I met Jim and was very much in love. And a really cute stray cat wandered across our path on a date one night. I was so excited and reached out to pet it....His response? "EW! No! Don't touch it-- it might have mange!" And my list had to go out the window. Cause lists are cool until the perfect guy doesn't match up with yours :)

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  15. Love this post! I am a total believer in making the list. It's important to think about what you really want in a guy & not settle! (: This is mine:

    1. infectious smile
    2. great sense of humor and laugh
    3. has a lot of great, close friends
    4. doesn't smoke
    5. college educated (my grandma always pushed this one, so I had to add it!)
    6. has a stable job that he enjoys
    7. pushes me outside comfort zone
    8. likes to communicate well & often
    9. sense of style reads confident, but is a little shy (not full of himself)
    10. loves roller coasters
    11. wants to travel with me
    12. has faith in God, in himself, in me, & in us.

    <3

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  16. anne of green gables is my all time favorite book. and the movies. adore.

    i met my husband when i was 14. i didn't even get a chance to make a list. the first time i saw him i knew he'd be my husband someday. but, i must say that i sure did get lucky. he is everything i would want if i were to make a list now. first and foremost he loves christ, he was my friend first, he's charming 7 makes me laugh all the time, he's kind to everyone, his smile melts me, he's smart, he's a go getter, he's a phenomenal father, oh and he's dreamy.

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  17. such a sweet post, I love this Anne kick you are on lately-- it makes me want to read the books yet AGAIN (for like the ninth or tenth time).
    confession: I have never watched the Anne movies. I KNOW. what is wrong with me??? I must.

    my lists have somewhat needed to be thrown out the window as life has taken some unexpected twists and turns. :) But I'm grateful every day for the people, from husband and children to friends and others I know, that God has put in my life. and if I were to make a list of all the wonderful qualities I love about all of them, it would be miles long!

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    Replies
    1. oh you must watch the movies! you are in for a real treat.

      and i love what you said about throwing out the list and embracing what God has before you. wise grasshoppa.

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  18. oh davi i thought john had a sword strapped to him in that photo. but i don't have my contacts in. and its 4:30 in the morning because i can't sleep comfortably anymore.....preggo problems. :)

    friends are such a huge part of my life, especially as my family is all in another state, or two, away!

    i've been through seasons of "mourning" over not finding the perfect friends suited for me in the past years, and desiring a friend or two to possess all of these qualities, but the Lord has slowly revealed to me that the women i've been blessed with are just right for me in this season of life :) and it seems as the more i've embraced that, the deeper my relationships have grown. and i am so grateful.

    wow. i'm getting deep.

    let's see, my list... hmmm (i've never actually wrote this out, this is fun!)

    my list is a little bi-polar(ish) because, on one hand i so crave friendships that are
    1. open and honest and willing to have deep heartfelt conversation
    2. friendships that are real, and continue to fix their eyes upon JESUS, even if it means revealing my yucky stuff - accountability partners
    3. friendships that are so close and nonjudgmental that i could call them up in a moment, to cry on their shoulder, and vice versa

    and then i have this crazy wild side where i love friendships to
    4. be full of laughter, like pee your pants laughter.
    5. be full of sarcasm, dry humor is so awesome.
    6. and shamelessly, someone who shares my same interests...because who doesn't love a friend who can help you rearrange your house or help pick out a new paint color. if they call you up saying they found THE perfect chair for your home while thrifting? that would be amaze.

    oh wow. this was a long reply
    [embarrassed, but not really]

    :)
    ps, my rug in my hizzie? rugsusa.com :)
    xoxo

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    Replies
    1. and this is why i love you so much. i know we would be very deep friends IRL.

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    2. and this is why Lindsey needs to come to CA, pronto, so you can be IRL friends with her, Davi, and she and I can remember what it is to be IRL friends. Love and am incredibly thankful for the bloggy relationship, but seriously. High school was a looooong time ago, we need to be mommy friends together. :)

      Delete
  19. loved this post and your list! I am so with you on 1 & 2. I'll add must be funny. I do love to laugh.

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