lost tooth

I had just come back from my road trip. The next morning at breakfast, I noticed Finn had his first loose tooth. It was all wiggly.

I have often pondered the mystery of how the Lord created us--teeth popping in and falling out. Then popping in and falling out again. Strange creatures we are.

At lunch I made the boys a sandwich. I noticed that Finn looked a bit glum and that his eyes were red and teary looking.

"What's wrong Finn?", I asked.

"I don't know", he replied in a squeaky voice, ready to cry.

That's when I noticed that his bottom tooth was gone. GONE, people!

I was shocked that it came out so soon and quickly started to comb the area for his itty bitty tooth.

But there was no tooth to be found. Not in his sandwich. Not in his mouth. Not on his plate. Not on the floor. Not on the couch. Not under the couch. Not in the house. Not in a mouse. NO WHERE.

I started to panic. What if he swallowed it? I tried to keep calm in front of the children.

I quickly called my sister on the phone. "Jess, I think Finn swallowed his tooth. Is he gonna be ok? Do I need to call the doctor? Do I need an ambulance?"(ok, j/k about the ambulance).

Now, unlike me, my sister is very level-headed. "Um, I don't think anyone calls the doctor for swallowing a tooth...it says here on the internet that hundreds of kids swallow their teeth and they are all fine..."she went on.

So I got off the phone and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Um, that would be false.

I quickly dialed our pediatrician, hoping they would tell me to take a chill pill. In fact, I was fully expecting them to laugh at me and tell me everything was ok.

Um, false again.

"Oh NO!", the nurse exclaimed. "Do you want to bring him in for an x-ray?"

"Are you kidding me? Is that standard protocol for swallowing a tooth?" I asked, completely flabbergasted.

"Well, I'm not sure about a tooth" she answered, "but that is what we do when they swallow a penny, to make sure they did not inhale it into their lungs..."

Me again, "Are you kidding me? They can inhale it? Well, I think an x-ray is complete overkill", I declared. Because I have an M.D. and all.

The nurse then said, "well, as long as he is breathing ok...try to find the tooth in his poop..."

And one more "Are you kidding me?" thrown in for good measure.

I hung up the phone, a bit traumatized from our first tooth catastrophe.

I guess that's what you get for calling the doctor for a swallowed tooth.

Should I just forget about it like my sis said? Or do I check the potty for a tooth?

Decisions. Decisions. Being a mom sure is fun. Weee!

That night, John and I discussed what to do. He thought I should MOVE ON. And not check the potty. I was not 100% sure yet, so I told Finn not to flush. Ew, I know.

The next morning, I woke up and found Calvin playing in the living room. But no Finn. Hm, this was odd.

I scoured the house and found Finn moping in his bed, close to tears.

Oh no! My first thought: He fell ill from inhaling his tooth.

"What's wrong, Finn", I asked.

But he would not tell me.

Finally, he managed to choke out "Calvin did something he was not supposed to"... sniff, sniff, ... "he flushed the toilet this morning"... his little voice rose about 8 octaves.

So, it seems, my decision was made for me. I would most certainly NOT be checking the toilet after all. Phew.

I would just have to assume that Finn's first tooth took a sad little journey to the ocean via the porcelain express.

"Oh, it's ok honey", I consoled. "We will just make a tooth out of play-dough like Miss Gretchen suggested, and leave that one for the tooth fairy".

"I was not worried about that", Finn stated. "I was worried that the tooth was gonna break the toilet".

Ah, the things kids worry about. Bless his heart.

The next night, I made a die-cast of Finn's exact dental imprint and crafted the exact replica of Finn's tooth, so as not to dissuade the tooth fairy. I hear the tooth fairy is cracking down in this recession.

And Finn left a note, explaining his predicament.

The tooth fairy was satisfied with Finn's plea and accepted his legal documentation. And she left Finn $5. Not bad in this economy.

Finn declared this day to be a "big boy day".

And he is mighty proud.