A week or 2 ago, I decided it was high time to buy a pair of boots.
The last time I bought a pair of boots was around 8 or 9 years ago. So, my taste in boots is a bit unrefined, to say the least.
I just assumed that I could run to the nearest store and pick up a pair of boots like I was picking up a loaf of bread of something.
AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
This is me laughing hysterically, at how clueless I was.
I think in the course of one week, I must have exhausted every single shoe store I can think of. I even hit up TJ Max and Ross.
There must be a mathematical equation that determines the outcome of your boot purchase:
x(leg length) + y(torso length) - z(foot diameter) - radius of leg + boot color + boot length + toe elongation / pi= "the pair" of boots
And even though I did not know exactly what type of boot I was looking for, I quickly learned a few things:
- I love a distressed brown finish
- Round toes make me feel stubby
- Pointed toes...well they look good but hurt my toes
- A slightly elongated point that is not overly pointy would be perfect but does not exist
- I need a heel to give me some height. Not too tall and skinny or I'll tip over, but not too fat that I appear to have a clunky horse hoof.
- Slouchy boots are cute, but make me feel like Tina Turner
- I would love a boot that hit just an inch or two below my knee.
- It's hard to find a pair of boots that fits snug around the top.
- You will get the stink-eye from other girls who wanted to try on that same boot.
- Everyone in the world wears a size 7.
- Heaven help the person that gets in the way of a girl and her boots if she should ever find "the pair".
Needless to say, I did not have much luck.
I brought home 4 different pairs of boots and thought they would all be fine, but most got the X from sister Jessica, John and Finn. Yes, even Finn had an opinion.
I ended up keeping one pair of boots. They are not even that spectacular and even failed the boot test on 2 separate accounts: the toe is a bit too round and the top part of the boot is not tall enough.
They were from Kohls and were on sale for $40. For now they are fine.
But if I should ever be in need of a pair of boots again, I think I shall have better luck online. Any suggestions?
Your extensive list cracks me up! But I totally understand! Boots are hard to find and "our location" is the WORST place to shop for them! Needless to say, I think you look amazing in your new boots! I LOVE them on you!
ReplyDeleteHaha, LOVE it! Honestly, I am slightly scared of boots...though I definitely, definitely need some. I ALWAYS find shoes online...much easier to search for them.
ReplyDeletegood grief,lol..what an ordeal!
ReplyDeleteI'm good with my ariats or justin's cowgirl boots..lol.that's all i wear!
Oh goodness! Sounds harder than buying a house!
ReplyDeleteI only have one pair of boots...and I don't remember where I got them...I really honestly think that an angel left them on my doorstep last winter.
On line steve madden or made I think is Jcrews other line...with nice classic ryder boots.
ReplyDeleteI will be in BIG trouble when my boots fall apart (well, my 4 pairs of boots - different colors, heel style and height)...but I would LOVE to have the problem that they don't fit snug at the top. I always have to yank and pull and squeeze to get them to zip over my fat calves...hey, that makes me sound like a cow...maybe I should put the cookie down now. =)
ReplyDeleteI feel the SAME WAY about boots. And I always have the HARDEST TIME finding ones that are really tight as they go up my leg. Or that have the right heel. Or toe. I like a pointy toe that doesn't go to a sharp point, more of a small, squared point... if that makes sense. :)
ReplyDeleteI love dark brown boots. I have Nine West boots right now... they are black, and NOTHING that I like in a boot anymore. But They were my first nice boots and it KILLS me to think of getting rid of them! Boo. Guess I better start saving up for a new pair of boots. ;(
well I think they look FAB darling. but seriously. boot shopping should not be that difficult. but I'm just thankful that you did most of the grunt work for me ;)
ReplyDeleteCUTE! If only my swollen feet could fit in boots...of any size, really... ;)
ReplyDeleteI swear by Frye boots as do pretty much all of my girl friends...they have many many styles to choose from so you can find what is just right for you...they cost a million gazillion dollars BUT last forever.
ReplyDeleteI have one pair that is on year 3 and look the same as when I bought them.
They are an investment but so far mine have paid off...though I'll admit I'm a more simple styled kinda girl so my preferred Frye is the Engineer boot, which isn't too spendy.
those are really cute!
ReplyDeleteyou did fabulous! those boots are adorable (by the way, i'm friends with Becca & Ellie and met you like once, and stock your blog cause you are so stinkin cute and hilarious) :)
ReplyDeleteFor your next boot extravaganza (and if you are brave enough for internet shopping) Lulus.com = amazing
boots are rather elusive and difficult prey, aren't they?? Boot shopping is always so tricky! That's why I was more than thrilled when I found THE boots at a thrift store. For $3. But, that isn't the sort of thing you can hunt for-- it just has to HAPPEN. Like a gift from the heavens. lol
ReplyDeleteI think your boots are quite wonderful! They look great!! And your list is hilarious... gosh I love you. :)
Frye, Frye, Frye...and you will never go back again.
ReplyDeleteAmy! I'm so excited to see you here! Of course I remember you! And now, I am off to see your blog!!
ReplyDeleteI need boots myself but I am in the same boat, it is so hard to find good ones that don't kill your feet and aren't too expensive. The ones you got are really cute! Now I really really want to go shopping for boots. I'll tell my husband to blame you. ;)
ReplyDeletethat list is sooo true! i went through the same exact thing last year. i too assumed i could just go buy a cute pair and be set. nope. apparently i have the scroniest chicken legs ever because even the lace up ones were too big! finally we found a pair by Simple that are more casual than id hoped but they are pretty cute. *sigh* life is so hard :o)
ReplyDeleteCute boots D! I agree that Fry boots are awesome-- i love mine, but boy, they are pricey!
ReplyDeleteEndless.com is cool- i like that they give you many measurements and they ship super fast!
I am dying here Davi! I was wondering when you would post something about this little adventure you have been on =) Love love love the post dear!
ReplyDeleteI went to the mall for the first time in FOREVER and there were so many boots, we must go soon! I just hate bringing kids to the mall, bleh! XOXO
I'm still just laughing over your boot equation! That should have been my math as a kid!
ReplyDelete