First of all, a HUGE thanks for all of your sweet thoughts and words of encouragment...and your amazing patience with me.
Thursday, April 30th. My big day. Our big day.
Even though I was not due at the birth center til 5:30AM, my day began at 1:00AM when Finn woke up crying. By the time I got him settled back in bed, I was wide awake. And then, as I started to nod off, my neighbor's dog started barking and woke Finn up again at 3:00AM. Finn rarely wakes me up, so this was unsettling.
So, pretty much no sleep for me that night. Being a mom can be hard.
Around 5AM I started getting ready and before I knew it, John and I were heading out the door to the birth center. It was pitch black outside. I prayed that Finn would stay asleep for my mom. I always hated this part of having a baby: leaving my boys. I wanted to cry. At the same time, I was a ball of nervous excitement for the arrival of our baby.
I cannot describe how bizarre it was, walking into the birth center, with my caboodle from high school clutched in one hand. We walked up to the nurses' station.
"Hi guys. Um, we'd like to have our baby now please, if it's not too much trouble..." Like we are ordering a pizza.
I was having a few contractions. I'd been having them nonstop for the past few days. Step. Step. Contraction. Step. Step. Contraction. I couldn't even go to Target anymore.
A very friendly and efficient blond nurse was in charge of my dreaded IV. My veins stink. This was not going to be easy. Thankfully, my nurse believed in litacaine first, so I lucked out. Or so I thought.
Left arm. Sting of litacaine...IV attempt 1...failed. Rats.
She turned on the tv to distract me.
Swine flu here, swine flu there, swine flu everwhere. Hm. This was relaxing.
Left arm. Sting of litacaine...IV attempt 2...another failure. By now I am getting uneasy. My left arm is throbbing and my contractions are worsening. I know, I'm such a big baby.
And by now I HATE the swine flu. Is there nothing else on tv?
Right arm. Litacaine. Awful stinging. Major contractions. The nurse looks uneasy. Lots of wiggling of the needle into my arm.
There was lots of praying on my part. Time stood still. At this point, she had been patiently working on my IV for 45 minutes. My contractions are now painful.
And then, finally, the IV goes in. "Your right arm is waaaay better than your left arm, for future reference", my nurse tells me as she wraps me in tape.
Dr. T(that is what I will be calling my OB) arrives. Normally very friendly and laid back, she begins barking orders right and left. She seems irritated with the staff."Where is the decadron? Why isn't daddy suited up?" etc...
By the time they wheeled my throbbing arms into the freezing OR, I am a mess. I can't stop shaking. My contractions have no start or stop points, it seems.
Enters anesthesiologist. Spinal attempt 1...Ouch!..failed...what the heck is wrong with me today??? My nurse is hugging me and and trying to make me feel better. This never happened before and was kind of scary.
"Lean waaay forward", my anesthesiologist instructs.
Spinal attempt 2. Double ouch. but...SUCCESS! It's in. Praise the Lord. And then I start to go numb, starting at my toes. I HATE the feeling. How does numb hurt? I am so cold and so hot. And I cannot stop shaking. And contracting. I am numb, yet feel everything. Hopefully not the cutting though.
"Whose crazy idea was it to have another baby?" I wondered. And "Why do people have babies at all?" And I think of 1st-time-mommy-to-be, C. Sherm, who is next in line. I prayed she would not have to endure a c-section--I know, I am soo sweet to think of someone else;)
"I want my happy drug NOW", I tell my anesthesiologist. (We had previously discussed injecting something to warm me up and stop the shaking. I just wanted to zone out.)
"No", he says calmly, "Not just yet, we have to wait til they pull the baby out so the drugs don't interfere with the baby's breathing".
"Oh yah". I forgot about the baby.
Finn, Calvin and Ollie were all out within 5 minutes of the c-section. I could wait 5 more minutes for my drugs. Omigosh! I'm gonna meet my new baby in just minutes!
"I smell those darn doritos again", I say, as they cauterize my skin. But then I heard something different.
Snip. Snip. Snip.
Snip. Snip. Snip.
5 minutes go by.
What is going on? Where is my baby?
Snip. Snip. What is up with all this snipping?
10 minutes have gone by. And no one is talking.
I'm nervous. And miserable. I want to talk, but for some reason, I don't. Or can't.
15 minutes have gone by.
"What is going on?", I finally managed to squeak out. My voice could barely work. The anesthesiologist says "Oh, they are just removing all the scar tissue on your abdonminal muscles."
Goodness. I guess that's what happens with 4 c-sections. John later said the 2 docs working on me were like a well-oiled machine, snipping together very efficiently.
20 minutes of eternity have gone by.
WHERE IS MY BABY?????
And then they start tugging. And tugging,
"Here's the head", Dr. T says.
And finally we heard the most blessed sound in the world.
The sound of our little baby squealing.
to be continued.