Ollie Story: DayDreaming

While I waited for wednesday to come, my family was very supportive. I told Jessi what was going on, so she didn't think I flaked on helping her make 80 pieces of chicken for the Teen Challenge dinner. Her and Josh were so sweet. They kept saying, "whatever happens, we love you". It was just what I needed to hear. Funny how you remember little things like that.

Time marched on and eventually I was nervously sitting before the ultrasound machine once again. This time the ambiance was completely different. The room was cozy and dimly lit, and the tech was chatty and confident. Within a matter of seconds, she pointed out the flickering heartbeat. "Everything looks great!", she said.

Praise the Lord!

I was overjoyed and so thankful. That little heartbeat was the most welcome sight in the whole world. It amazes me how something so tiny can cause such a big commotion.

The weeks dragged on, with me vomiting off and on throughout each day. My poor boys. I remember sweet Finn holding my hair back as I yacked in the toilet. Aside from the morning sickness, things were going pretty well.

Until week 14, when I picked up our 1 gallon humidifier and felt something rip a little in my side. I was upset with myself. How could I be so careless? And then some spotting occurred soon thereafter. Here we go again, I thought. I was not eager to rush back to the doctor's office. But I had that nagging feeling that I needed to make sure things were ok, for the sake of the baby. So I sucked it up and called my doctor. She ordered yet another ultrasound. By now, I was getting sick of these things.

As I sat unhappily in the waiting room, I saw a very happy Scott and Lorie waltz by, on cloud 9. They were newly expecting and were obviously very excited at the prospect of a doctor visit. From the look on their faces, you would think they were at Disneyland. It was very cute.

They called my name and I sat before the ultrasound machine, take 3. The tech was a very young girl, much to my dismay. She saw a tiny, tiny tear but said it was nothing to get excited about. She was however, concerned that I might have placenta previa.

"It's too soon to tell", she explained, "since things move so much between weeks 14 and 20. We will just have to wait and see". Famous last words. If I indeed had previa, that could mean MAJOR bed rest from 25 weeks til delivery. I could not even fathom how I would be able to care for Finn and Calvin.

So instead of fretting over the possibility of previa, I filled my head with nonsense and starting daydreaming of the bedding I was going to make for my baby girl. Oh yes, it was definitely going to be a girl. I was so sure. During week 11 I had thrown up all day and almost needed to by re-hydrated.Only a girl could make me this sick, I reasoned. After all, my sister Jessica was as sick as a dog with her 4 girls.

I was busy sewing Natasha a girl blanket for her upcoming surprise baby shower, which was to occur a few hours after my "official" ultrasound. While in Patches getting fabric for Natasha, I started scheming with Suzanne, the store owner, about my girl bedding. We were in her back office at her computer oohing and ahhing over Moda's fabric website. We were just one mouse-click away from ordering my fabric. I laughed and joked that maybe we should wait one more week for my ultrasound, to confirm the gender. And silly me happily envisioned telling my friends "it's a girl!". And during a looong car trip when John and the boys were making excessively disgusting boy sounds, I consoled myself with the fact that my dear little "Elle" would never make such a racket. As I look back on my stupidity, I realize I set myself up for disappointment. Something I rarely do. I'm usually so cautious.

I was 18 weeks along, and it was time for the big reveal. My family was on stand-by and Jessi was camped out at my house with the boys. Pastor Josh was sure I was having a girl. Once again I was sitting in front of that all too familiar ultrasound machine, take 4. I was a little anxious about the prospect of placenta previa, but this concern was overshadowed by my excitement to confirm the baby's gender. When I told the tech I was 18 weeks along, she kind of glared at me and snapped, "I can't do anything yet. Your baby will be too small to measure." She must have seen the crestfallen look on my face and she softened just a bit.

"Very well, let's see", she said.

As she began her exam, I held my breath. The tech started to relax and smiled,"Alright, your baby is big enough".

First things first, NO indication of Previa. YAY! It was a good thing I didn't waste my energy worrying about that.

And then she said these 3 little words.

it's. a. boy.

******I'm getting there:)