May 12, 2012

why we need Peach.

The other day I was pulling into my garage. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something behind my van. On closer inspection, I realized it was a frog. Squirting red blood out of its leg, onto my driveway(For some reason I assumed frog blood would be grayish-greenish-black?). It was...nauseating.
"Sorry lil frog. I did not mean to amputate one of your appendages."

It seemed to have quite the will to live, as it gimped off into the driveway.

Later in the day, it was time to pick up Calvin from school and we could not tarry.

"Hurry up boys! Time to load into the van."

As I stepped into the driver's seat, I noticed a little "someone" JUST behind my front tire.

I felt a wee bit faint. Apparently Mr. Frog had limped and gimped his way back INTO my garage and parked itself right behind my wheel. Is he trying to commit suicide? Is he dead already?

I didn't know what to do. We were late.

So I did the obvious thing. I started screaming and making retching noises, til Ollie and Twain started crying.

"Mommy stop screaming," they cried. "You are scaring us."

So I pulled myself together, pulled the car into reverse and cringed a thousand times as I backed over Mr. Frog.


Me, shrieking again.
Boys, crying again.

We picked up Calvin. "Hi Calvin! How was your day?" And we drove off on our merry way, back home.

I'm a creature of habit. John has a hanging tennis ball in the garage, to help me park my van in the exact right spot. When I pull up, my side mirror is supposed to graze the ball, otherwise John gets all crankypants on me. So, doing my duty, I drive in, to perfection, just hitting the tennis ball. And I hear that familiar "thud" once again. Except the thud is not from hitting the ball. 

I slap my forehead. Kill me. Now.

I had forgotten about Mr. Frog. I mean, seriously. I'm convinced this was his final revenge on me for amputating his leg. I silently gag and retch, so as not to scare the boys.

A few hours later, it's time to get Finn. I back over Mr. Frog for the umpteenth time, silently cursing myself. Well, not really cursing, but sternly lecturing myself, shall we say? As we drive home, I park in the driveway, and vow not to go back in the garage til John escorts Mr. Frog out.

The next day, I mustered up the nerve to examine the crime scene. I almost drew a chalk outline over Mr. Frog, as part of the investigation...

Finn ended up scraping the flattened frog off the garage for me. Boys. I tell you. I think that was exciting for him. I mean, this is type of work he's been turning in to his teacher lately.

Which brings me to the point of this post. With all this blood n' guts, we really do need a little bit of Peach in our lives.

Ahhhhh. That's better.

Last week, we took a final vote and officially named her Peach (Bribes may or may not have been involved to reach a consensus).

But she really is a peach of a kitty and her name is fitting.

She has gotten really feisty and playful. The boys are wild about her. 

Ollie tries to lock her up in the pet-taxi. Or the closet with him. Or the pantry, so she won't escape his clutches. He's gonna love her to death, holding her hostage with his love.

At night when the boys go to bed, she gets all crazy, and puts on quite the show for John and me. We just sit and laugh and chase her around til midnight. Well, I'm usually asleep waaaaay before then, but John stays up too late grading. Tsk, tsk.

Dr. W adjusted me the other day. And sent me home with kitten formula, LOL. 

I was driving to church the other day and I saw an orange dead kitty splattered all over the road. I shuddered and thought, "How am I ever going to let Peach outside?!" Look at this trusting lil face!

Snuggling up on my leg.

One night she hopped into bed with us. This is a big no-no. At least it was a preposterous notion a few weeks ago, before Peach entered our world. I would rather die than share my bed with an animal.


But she was so cute, I could not resist her charms(Don't unfriend me).

She was purring SO LOUD in her sleep, that she kept me up til 3 a.m, no lie. So I slept on the couch, LOL. My friends were mortified and asked me why I did not kick her out of my bed.

"I didn't want to hurt her feelings", I said sheepishly.

Pathetic, I know. Next time she gets the boot, scout's honor.

Do you think we should wear matching sweaters for our Christmas card next year?

I totally think Peach wants to. She is already practicing her silhouette pose.

p.s. Molly June. If you are reading this. This post was for you. Because I know how much you LOVE cats, hahaha. Kg showed me some of your comments from her blog post on kittens that one time...when she fed them milk. 

p.s.s I hope you all don't think I'm the cat lady now. Because I'm not. Please don't buy me cat shirts. HAHAHA.