September 22, 2008

birth order

John was listening to Focus on the Family recently and the topic was birth order. Dobson interviewed Kevin Leman, who wrote the Birth Order Book. And Dobson agreed with Leman that the book had merit and was "very relevant to parenting". So as John was telling me about this, I was rolling my eyes(Not at John, at the birth order theory).

You may have heard about it before. The oldest child is the bossy/leader(nearly every American president has been the eldest child), the middle child is laid back/compatible with everyone and the youngest is friendly/outgoing. The reason I was so skeptical, is that there seems to be so many exceptions. For example, my youngest sister Lindsay has middle child characteristics: she is very laid back and can get along with anyone. Older sister Jess does have firstborn leader traits though--as the middle child, I followed her everywhere and copied everything she did. I am the middle child, yet think I am more of a hybrid of sorts. I don't know. I am lousy at self-analysis. 

However, when I look at my 3 boys, I think the birth order theory may prove to be correct. It's probably too soon to tell with Ollie.

Finn is definitely the little bossy leader of this posse.
Here Finn is, ready for take-off.

I am not sure where he plans on going, but he will most certainly coerce Calvin and Ollie to get on board with him. He is constantly thinking of things to do, and becomes quite intolerant of any insubordinates. Today he was practically in tears, because Calvin would not go "camping" with him. Calvin was reclining on a bench, chin cupped in hand, idly watching el televisor. Finn was throwing a fit, that Calvin would not play his game and proceeded to turn off the tv. He said to me "we have been watching too much tv lately". Bossy little thing.

Here is my middle child.

He is DEFINITELY, without a shadow of a doubt, the laid-back lounger of this house. I wish I were Calvin sometimes. He will never worry about getting good grades. He just doesn't care. As Finn is pouring fastidiously over his AWANA book, Calvin is substituting fake words into his verses and is overall very unconcerned whether he passes his section or not.

I can already see future band practice. Finn will be forcing Calvin to practice with him. Calvin will be late to practice. Or will no-show. Finn will get all aggravated. Should be fun.

The other puzzle piece is Ollie.

If you had told me my youngest child was supposed to be friendly and outgoing 1 month ago, I would have laughed you off the planet. Ollie has been the most temperamental, opinionated, tenacious little thing I have EVER met. He had a throw-down fit over a juice box for almost an hour at Finn's soccer game. However, I think a lot of Ollie's temper has to do with his gums erupting from 2 molars...and the fact that he cannot say many words and must cry to say what he wants.

However, when he is in a good mood and his needs are met, Ollie can be very funny. He will make just about any sound effect to get his brothers to laugh at him. The boys were laughing at Ollie for carrying a toy in his mouth like a bone and then spitting it out. Since they thought it was funny once, Ollie walked around for the next hour or so, with something in his mouth, trying to get brothers to laugh again.

And at Finn's previous soccer game, Ollie walked around everywhere, gazing up at strangers, willing them to talk to him. He even was grabbing middle-aged men by their love-handles(I don't think that was appreciated). Finn and Calvin never gazed at strangers adoringly. It may be too soon to tell with Ollie. And he just recently started getting more friendly(after I cut him off from nursing).

We shall see if this whole birth order thing proves correct for my clan.

Lorie, my boys discovered your fox tails and demolished them to pieces:(


  1. oh, the black and whites are fantastic!! I love them!! Also, all the close-ups of their sweet little faces. So precious.

    It's so funny, because a lot of what you said about Finn is almost exactly the way Emma is. Maybe there is some truth to this birth order thing! I'll be curious to see what my third one is like. :)

  2. Yeah, I don't know why it didn't work out that way with us! You being Homework Davi, and me picking the easiest classes possible and only studying the night before the test, if I bothered to study at all...

    Adorable pictures! I can't wait to see who Ollie becomes!

  3. Well, the birth order thing works in my family, kind of. Me being the oldest - totally the bossy, do what I'm supposed to do. My sis, the youngest -- friendly, laid back. My brother? The middle child? He has what I call the typical middle child syndrome -- do everything exactly OPPOSITE of what you're supposed to do. In fact, he's still doing it that way. Oh well, 2 out of 3 isn't bad, right?

  4. Well I'm the oldest and I think I'm probably pretty bossy. lol. But with my own children... Juliet definitely takes the cake on that one. Nothing laid back about this middle child lol.

  5. I may be in the minority of the rest of the world...but I think that birth order stuff is silly. And it really doesn't make any sense. And I know the book is supposed to account for gaps...but I cannot believe that my 3 1/2 year olds personality is being influenced by a child we do not yet have. Absurd. And I am convinced my oldest would be be herself regardless of order...solely based on the fact that God made and designed her and purposed her before she existed.

    But whatever. :)

  6. Lovely pictures as always D! I liked your description a few posts back of Ollie as "Stormy" -- glad he is a happier little one now though!

    Its an interesting theory- this birth order thing. I suppose I think you and I switched. You were always pretty outgoing and friendly while I tried to hide out with Jess. :)

  7. I TOTALLY believe in birth order... case in point: I'm the oldest, Mark is the youngest. Um... yeah... we totally align to birth order behavior standards! :)

  8. Well I definitely think Emily and I and our older brother fit the profile! How on earth do you choose which photos to frame, they are all AWESOME!

  9. Ok I know I am a Psyc major and that makes me automatically crazy, but I really do believe it is true. EVERY LITTLE THING does not have to align, it is just a frame work that MOST children fall into. The way parents treat the different children has a big impact as well =) I LOVE FOCUS ON THE FAMILY because they mix the proven psychological information with the bible and how we are to run our family and VOILA it all works! =)
    And your pictures are the most precious thing ever!! Why aren’t you a photographer??

  10. Hmmm...I wonder where I would fit in as the 2nd/youngest. Probably a mix of the 2 personalities. Now Justin's family, I'm not sure if they follow suit. Justin's a leader in his own ways, but he's about the most easy going person I know. And Jacob...well in his earlier, non-hippy years, he used to be very anal and particular about how things were done. Kurt is pretty social though.

    It is pretty fun to read about it all though. And the pictures...BREATHTAKING! How is the photo class going?

  11. i laughed a lot when i read about finn saying youd all been watching too much tv lately. hilarious!
    we really miss you guys!