June 18, 2008

Ollie story continued: ultrasounds

After the holiday bazaar was over I started spotting a lot. It was pretty alarming. I was almost 7 weeks along and I got that real uncomfortable feeling in my gut. I hate the first trimester. It can be so nerve wracking. I was hoping the spotting would magically stop, but it grew worse as the evening wore on. I could not wait around much longer. I left the boys with John and headed to the ER, since all the doctors offices were closed on the weekend.

After waiting what seemed an eternity, they finally got me a room and gave me a pregnancy test. And then I waited and waited and waited. Finally, a young friendly doctor walked through the door and asked "So, what brings you here?"

I explained that I was 7 weeks pregnant and that I was spotting.

He looked confused and said "Really?" And then he tapped his clipboard and said "It says here that your pregnancy test came back negative."


---------------long pause-----------------------

"Um, what?" I asked.

The doctor inquired, "well, what makes you think you are pregnant?"

I explained my at-home-pregnancy test, and the blood test at the lab and all the nausea and morning sickness....I rambled on in a dazed confusion, trying to convince both of us that I was not making this whole thing up.

I was never so confused in my whole life. I had felt so incredibly sick at the holiday bazaar that day, I could barely stomach my subway sandwich. But maybe, it was all in my head? There are those men who claim morning sickness is all a hoax and that it is just psychological. In my altered state of mind I thought perhaps they may be right after all. I felt kind of foolish. And incredibly bummed. But most of all just confused.

And this is what I recall most vividly. In the kindest way possible, he patted my shoulder and said " I know, this really sucks."

Then he got down to business and said, there were 2 possibilities.
1) The urine test was wrong. The lab had already messed up twice that week
2) I was miscarrying.

I liked the sound of option 1, but the pessimist in me thought there was no way the lab had messed up again.

He then ordered a blood test and an ultrasound. The on-call ultrasound tech seemed very inexperienced and proceeded to jab and poke me for over a half an hour and did not say one_single_word. Not a peep. It was not fun. I tried to get something out of him, but he refused to say anything. And the longer it took him, the more my hopes dashed. In my mind, it was over.

Back in my room I waited over an hour.

Finally, the friendly young doctor returned and said "You're not going to believe it, but the lab did mess up your urine test. The blood test shows that you are pregnant. This is the 3rd time this week the lab messed up and I'm really ticked off......And the ultrasound shows a pregnancy but they could not detect a heartbeat. But 7 weeks is still a little early. You will have to follow up with your doctor this coming week".

I was stunned. The lab really messed up 3 times in one week? At least I wasn't going crazy. But why wasn't there a heartbeat? I could see Finn's heartbeat as early as 6 weeks. So I headed home with a mixture of thoughts. Relieved that this wasn't a fake pregnancy but concerned about the heartbeat.

Over the weekend the waiting game continued. My doctor's office was able to do a follow-up blood test on Monday morning , but could not squeeze me in for an ultrasound till Wednesday. Ugh.

While I was at a Teen Challenge dinner Monday night, I got a call on my cell phone from the nurse: "Your hormone levels have increased some but they have not doubled. It has not been 48 hours though, so let's just wait for the ultrasound, okay honey?"

I felt a little surge of hope. Maybe, just maybe, this little baby was hanging on. I thought Wednesday would never come.

*********It's late. I'm going to bed. I will write more tomorrow.


  1. I am so glad you are telling this story... But wow, what a time of it. I can just imagine how you must have felt. Poor thing. I'm so glad to know that there IS a happy ending; but I still can't wait to hear what happens next.

    between Lorie's love story and your Ollie story, I am in blog heaven. I love stories!!

  2. Thanks for sharing all the details...and for not keeping us in suspense for too long. =)

  3. Ahhhh! I am LOVING that you're telling us this story. What a treat for us. And I'm really hurting for you inside- I'm sorry you had to go through that at the hospital, that is like every woman's nightmare scenario!

  4. Ugh the first trimester is SO nerve racking. We hadn't even planned on telling anyone I was pregnant until the 2nd trimester because we were so scared of a miscarriage, but it was kind of hard to keep it a secret with all the barfing and shots I had to take...

    I love hearing this story, it makes me even more appreciative of the precious little life that Ollie is! :)

  5. Thanks for sharing your fun story. What a nighmare at the ER!

  6. Can't...take...the...cliffhanger! LOL! I know that it all ends well, but I'm seriously having heart palpitations while reading the installments to the Ollie story. You must keep going or I am sure that I will not survive!

    I am loving the story, though! I know that Jessica was e-mailing me with updates at one point and I was praying for you and Ollie a lot, but I don't know if it was at this point or if it was later on in the pregnancy, and now I am itching for more of the Ollie story. So write more!! LOL!

  7. It's a conspiracy...you and Lorie are plotting against us readers! Trying to drain our days away with checking for the next chapter.

    In all seriousness, I'm hooked! I'm also happy that I know there will be a happy ending. I can't imagine the fear and anxiety you were feeling!

  8. happy day after your birthday ollie!!!
    i love reading his story. funny, i had just finished started to blog lijahs story when i saw you did the same thing. although i wasnt planning on doing the pregnancy part but now after reading ollies thus far i think i will.
    i miss you!!